Somewhere back in 2003 I was approached by a parent looking for me to spend some time with his daughter for lessons. I was only 17 at the time and I never had any experience working with younger kids; minus my sister, but that was more of me tormenting her like siblings normally do. Nonetheless I decided to do it and give it a shot. I looked at it as an opportunity to not only help someone out, but also a way for me to understand the game better. Her and I worked together for a couple of years before my own playing career would invade in the available time. My way back to coaching is a story for another day, and now that I am here again, I often find myself asking “is what I am doing have an impact?”. Sure, there are ways you can measure that, we can look at stats to see if there are positive trends. Parents can always fill me in on how their child is improving. I would say though that the true measurement of coaching comes years after, when we can look back and see how all the coaching impacted the child’s life decisions.
I can easily say that the first years of me coaching left much to be desired; no surprise given my age. Much different to where I am at now, but that time early on taught me a lot. For example, there is more to off-ice training than running suicides. My ability to articulate the save process and body movements was probably no where near where it needed to be. She improved for sure, statistically speaking, but the goal was not to just improve her skills, it was mainly to discourage others from picking on her. A girl on an all-boys team, as the goalie, she was chirped quite a bit. We worked on ways to be better in the net, but we also worked on dealing with adversity.
Adversity can be tough to deal with; some thrive in that type of environment, while others can crumble. My most memorable and impactful coach, Dave Bowers, who coached our 18AA team for the Comets, helped me learn these things. Our Comets team was a family through and through, Coach Bowers was a major reason for this. He was and has always been a positive spirited man and coached with a genuine nature. Regardless of the challenges we faced he was never phased, always found a silver lining, and that resonated with us. We needed this, especially in the years that followed when we were struck with years of heartache.
We all deal with events in our lives that strike us in such a way; a way that is hard to manage mentally and emotionally. Whether it be a death, a divorce, a car breaking down on the highway; we can be struck hard. How we manage that stress is what separates us from the extraordinary and the average. Extraordinary is multi-faceted in my view; for example, a single mother working multiple jobs to support her children is quite a feat and extremely underrated. Which brings me to my first student. When I ran into her several years ago, I was brought up to speed on how life turned out. A single mom with a good job and a newly purchased home. Adversity was sprinkled all throughout life, adversity most cannot even fathom. She told me that I was the reason she was able to get through all the obstacles. I could only wonder how I was able to make such a profound impact, especially at such a young age.
When my own life found interesting plot lines, I was able to keep my spirits high. From a deer crashing through my windshield while I was driving to Oakes, to being laid off in a massive job cut, I have always found the positives in a pile of unpleasant leftovers. My mindset with regards to that has been very consistent; and I can reflect to see where I acquired that skill.
Anecdotal my arguments are, yet they show that coaching is more about tomorrow than it is for today. Our immediate goal is to see performance improvements in the short term. We want to provide a foundation for growth, technically speaking of course, one that we can boot new “software”, but also done in a way that teaches more than being a goalie or an athlete. Of course, I want to hear about a goalie’s wins, how their save percentage is improving…etc. What really strikes me though are those moments that will happen years from now, when I can hear and see about the messages that stuck and how they helped a person become more than they thought they were capable of.